Apologies

This is a hard time of year for me
April is a shitty month
so I understand if you guys wanna avoid my blog until I get a little more cheery
I'm just still almost a year later
trying to come to grips with the fact that I will never see Nick again
there is still a part of me that despite my realistic side still thinks I can't fully accept it
cause Nick is coming back
I'm not a crazy person I know death is it
but I can't help but imagine that he might
April 10th it will have been one full year since I saw my brother
April 12th it will have been one full year since I spoke to him
it's insanity
and dammit I want my freaking funny back
it's the best part of me
and I can't help but think Nick is an asshole for stealing it when he left :)