Question

I have said this before
losing my brother changed me
only I still cannot fully grasp how
today I realized one of the ways I am different
I think because Nick and I were so similar in the way we joked and laughed
I lost my goofiness
I can't make people laugh like I used to and I truly believe it is because without Nick
I'm not me and the sadness has taken some of my humor
it's not that I don' laugh or joke
just not like I used to
which leads me to my question
when you lose someone so close to your heart it changes you but how do you embrace those changes and learn to love your new self?
I'm not gonna lie lately I think I liked the old Cora better then the new one